BEEN HIDING.. THIS IS POST WITH FULL OF SHIT.. DONT WASTE YOUR TIME READING IT ..
At one point she is right, i have never been happy since the shit happened, yeah.. i cant even move on, yes, i cant accept the fact that this shit just happened.. I am stupid, i am stubborn.. I find everyone utterly annoying because i dont need anymore reminding or nagging bout what i should do or what i should not do! Because i know! Am i that immature as you all think?! You thought i dont know how to think all these?
I just wanna be stubborn this time, i dont wanna go back to school, but i dont wanna stuck at home all day along either.. I know i should just accept the fact that this shit happened and i should move on, but i cant! I am SICK and TIRED of all these! For just one day, i wish all these just STOP! Let me rest! Let me clear my head!
I hate myself! Because i cant think properly now! I dont know what i want now..
I hate myself for shutting myself up to people! I dont know how to pour out my problems anymore! I dont even know how to BLOG my situation! Thats the fucking worse part! If i dont even know how to blog bout my situation, its really worse.. I had to shut myself up..
People asked me, what do u think u should do? I would say, WHO THE HELL CARES BOUT WHAT I THINK? Its the reality that i have to force myself to move on isnt it? Who the hell cares? My parents dont care which sometimes is a good thing! Just freaking leave me alone! When i needed encouragment, where was it? All i got was scoldings and misunderstandings! They dont understand me at all! Yeah.. I have always been a burden to you! I am always an extra who is just standing aside and watch how heartwarming this family is!
I was alone last night, i seriously dont even want to go home, i wish i wasnt home, i wish i was out there.. All of a sudden, i just felt so alone.. I have no one to call out to lend me a shoulder to lean on.. I dont need a listening ear.. Or someone who knows to advise me.. All i need is someone who dont ask me why or what happen, that someone will lend me a shoulder to lean on.. Weird right? I have Familigia.. I can call 9 of them and maybe 1 of them is free to come out.. But i didnt call anyone.. I just sat there and think.. No one will be free to entertain me..
Yeap.. In the end, i am all alone..
Whats the conclusion of this post? I am alone.. I have to fight this alone.. I gotta do this, nobody is going to help me. Nobody is gonna care anyway.. In the end, i am alone.. ha.. pathetic isnt it?
I just wanna be stubborn this time, i dont wanna go back to school, but i dont wanna stuck at home all day along either.. I know i should just accept the fact that this shit happened and i should move on, but i cant! I am SICK and TIRED of all these! For just one day, i wish all these just STOP! Let me rest! Let me clear my head!
I hate myself! Because i cant think properly now! I dont know what i want now..
I hate myself for shutting myself up to people! I dont know how to pour out my problems anymore! I dont even know how to BLOG my situation! Thats the fucking worse part! If i dont even know how to blog bout my situation, its really worse.. I had to shut myself up..
People asked me, what do u think u should do? I would say, WHO THE HELL CARES BOUT WHAT I THINK? Its the reality that i have to force myself to move on isnt it? Who the hell cares? My parents dont care which sometimes is a good thing! Just freaking leave me alone! When i needed encouragment, where was it? All i got was scoldings and misunderstandings! They dont understand me at all! Yeah.. I have always been a burden to you! I am always an extra who is just standing aside and watch how heartwarming this family is!
I was alone last night, i seriously dont even want to go home, i wish i wasnt home, i wish i was out there.. All of a sudden, i just felt so alone.. I have no one to call out to lend me a shoulder to lean on.. I dont need a listening ear.. Or someone who knows to advise me.. All i need is someone who dont ask me why or what happen, that someone will lend me a shoulder to lean on.. Weird right? I have Familigia.. I can call 9 of them and maybe 1 of them is free to come out.. But i didnt call anyone.. I just sat there and think.. No one will be free to entertain me..
Yeap.. In the end, i am all alone..
Whats the conclusion of this post? I am alone.. I have to fight this alone.. I gotta do this, nobody is going to help me. Nobody is gonna care anyway.. In the end, i am alone.. ha.. pathetic isnt it?
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