This Is My Life & My Say!

GOODBYE FOR REAL...

People has been asking me what happened to me due to recent status updates and twitter.


Thank you for your concern but I will be fine. Because I know I will move on for sure this time.


I promise myself that I wouldn't look back.


Won't go on details bout what happened because someone find me THREATENING. And being said, this someone was a very close friend of mine.


So I won't exactly explain bout what had happened. But in overall. This Friendship is officially over.


I won't mention who because those who know me will obviously know.


This time, I am feeling hurt and disappointed at the same time.


If she thinks that I am cruel towards her because of money issue, then I am sure that she don't know me well at all. This time, I dont fight for myself, I fight for people who are involved, people who are innocent and understanding.


Its my responsibilities. They trust me so I am doing whatever it takes and not to lose that kind of trust.


I don't find it necessary to explain anything to her because I don't think she will be bothered bout what I've got to say. And of course I won't expect her to listen because of her current situation she is in.


When everyone around me doubts her. I still stand on my ground to trust her completely.


I don't know what to do to get back this friendship anymore. I just let it go.


Its not because my feelings are not strong enough to hold on to it, but its because I am just too tired to hang on for so long. I just find it no point anymore. Getting hurt over and over again.


People always find it weird why am I so persistent towards this friendship? Am I in love with her..( Like seriously??)


I would say, I love her as a friend, like any other close/best friends would do the same, IF this happened between me with any of my best friends, I would feel the same.


So she is not the only friend that I choose to hang on for so long.


Even things happened with me and other close friends of mine, but we still managed to pull it through.


I once said to her, If there is gonna be another hole/gap between I will try my best to glue it back. 


I wanted to, but with my strength only is not enough, what's the point of me wanting to save this friendship when the other party is not willing to. 


When I said I will glue it back at that time, I meant it. But maybe she thinks I was bullshitting? I dont know.


Was reading my blog earlier on, its like all the pain that I had the first time was back at one shot. But this time was worse. It was too overwhelming. 


It may seem stupid of me, to get hurt because of a friend, and not like others, who got hurt cause of boy/girl relationship. But be it Hweeyi, Familigia, Mary or her and of course my Family. If I was hurt by any of them. I would feel hurt as well. 


Because LOVE was involved. I Love every single one of my best friends.. That is why I cant bear the cold war between any of us. That is why I am always too straight forward all the time.. Because I wouldnt wanna lie to any one of them. 


But I guess being too straight forward bring me so much trouble.. 


This entry took me bout 3 days of what to blog.. I have so much to blog bout this but I dont know how and where to start. 


I had to blog this out because I cant keep it inside me anymore. I will break down, and its a matter of time.


For now, I am still doing fine because I have to solve the problems that I am facing now. 


Then I will face my own emotions later. 


That's all for now. Take care.