Hey guys.. Sorry that this will be a emotional post as i need to vent out my feelings as i am feeling so hurt right now. A question for you guys.. How would you feel if your dad or your mum said something like this to you..
: "Don't need to have marriage in your life so you can have so much freedom, don't need to get tied down by your children, responsibilities.. So you can travel as many countries as possible.. If i didn't have you in my life, i can save up to 500 bucks a month and go for trips every single year. You know.. Because of you, i didn't travel for more than 10 years.. don't even know why you are so useless.. "
Tell me.. How are you gonna react and feel?
Why did i ask? Because i have no idea HOW to react.. After what he said.. I just walked off and pretended that i didn't feel anything, he said this only in front of me.. None of my family members know what happen, i have the sudden urge to ask my mum.. "Do you feel regret to give birth to me? Because of me, you are having such tough life.."
And at that moment, i wanted to confront him back by saying : If you feel so regretful, then why have me in the first place? I didn't ask to be born u know?!
But i didn't, because the situation would be so ugly and i do not want to make such a fuss.. It is always me who is having this kind of situation with him!! Why do i always have to bear all these from him??
How am i suppose to react to all these shit??
I don't know if he is testing me or something.. Because i do not cry or whine in front of him, I have my own pride to shed any tear in front of him.. So maybe he just wanted to see me break down?? I am sorry that i am NOT a Daddy's girl! Saying me childish, saying me immature, seriously??
IF I m childish and immature, whatever i want i would ask from you but i didn't! Yes, i may seem so stubborn in front of him by showing my anger, but would they ever know, i was feeling so hurt and sad, shedding tears secretly?? Who would even know?? And think bout what he said , repeating in my mind over and over again..
He said that i am having good life by traveling to countries and depended on them so i could travel.. What a shit reason was that?! I confronted back and said : the moment i started working, wherever i go, whatever i do IS COMING FROM MY HARD WORK!! AND NOT FROM YA'LL!
Seriously! Get your facts right before you say anything! By the age of 17, I started working and i afford my own trips! I did not even ask a single cent from you! So shut the fuck up!
Outsiders will always say that i do not respect him, i don't respond to his questions, i do not want to talk to him..Even if i responded, i would get so pissed off! Why?? THIS IS WHY!! So don't come telling me how disrespectful i am to him!! I know i shouldn't treated him this way, but i do not want to show him my soft side so he could use it and attack me whenever he wants!!
I am feeling all so emotional and hurt right now.. I wanted to cry so badly and get this off my chest.. sigh..
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