Yes! As you can see from the title, i have been very stress ever since i came back from Taiwan. All that work load just kills me! All the invisible stress from Stephanie.. We did have a talk session on Saturday. Was telling me that I have problems with managing my work etc etc..
Same thing that any boss would say wherever you go.. I wanted to give up so badly because I am sick and tired of facing different kinds of people who are so irritating and stuck up! No matter which country you come from!
Its giving me all these negative thinking already!
Just when i wanna give up, there's always this small voice inside my head telling me that i shouldn't give up! I just hang on for awhile more and see what happens..
So i am gonna just hang on and see how it goes.. Let the nature take its course, i'll deal with it once the situation is here looking for me..
As I was being stress and upset bout what Steph was talking to me about it, i just thought of going out to have some fun.. Didn't manage to meet up Anx and her gang up on Saturday for that clubbing session @ butterfac though, but last night.. Jazz suddenly msn me and asked if i wanna join her ~ I said okay~
First time thinking that my eyes are big enough for not putting fake lashes~ Okay its not really BIG but bigger than usual~ I had a hard time putting my contact lens! =.= Tried a different style to club last night~ Like Korean hip hop style? But of course, i still maintain that girl's look on me~ I hope its successful~Before meeting up with Jazz, i had dinner with Sherline @ Tampines~
Its been quite some time since we last met, we both took out some time to meet up for a simple dinner~
Had our dinner @ NYDC~ YUMMS~ =) The last time i ate was like 3 years ago, the food still taste good~ =)I had a great time hanging out with her even its just a simple dinner~ =) Headed down to pick mum up from Airport ~ She just came back from Haikou, she had no idea that i went to pick her up~ hehe~ Gave her a surprise!
Reached home at bout 11.30pm, rushed myself to get ready and waited for Jazz to come pick me up by cab~
We went to Club Trustz, Its near at Concorde Hotel~ Its NOT my first time to a Thai pub/club , but its my FIRST TIME going to a Male Host Thai Club!
This was when they were having their "Catwalk" ~ My only picture in the club because we are not allowed to take pictures? Well, because while i was taking this picture, the bouncer in the club just told me not to.. So i assume that we are not suppose to take any picture with any of the male hosts as well~So anyways, its a very crazy experience for me in my entire life! Thinking of it now just made me embarrassed or should i say shy? I was freaked out at the beginning!
Okay, this was how it happened..
We went in, Jazz ordered a beer tower, Mamasan (Jessica) and Papasan came to us to greet Jazz, we introduced ourselves and Mamasan keeps asking me if i like big guys, she will introduce them to me, at first, i thought she was just joking bout it!! Because never did i know that i was in a Male host club!
But she kept insist on it ! About 5 minutes later, she went off and came again with a ROW of guys! About 7 of them!! Standing right in front of me! Asking me to pick one to entertain myself! I was like (0.0!!!!) I panicked ! I did! I was shaking both inside and outside! Even though i was smiling and laughing away but if there were lights on my face, you can see that my face went RED!
So after bout 5 minutes of hesitant, i had to choose one, and i did..
A guy with a hat, at first, i just thought that i liked his hat.. I didn't really notice how good looking he was.. But according to the height and how he present himself just made me choose him..
Immediately, he sat right next to me, introduced himself and so did i, it was AWKWARD ! I was quiet, pretending to enjoy the music.. He knew that i was shy and cold.. So he warmed up the atmosphere by playing games, drinking games.. I drank a lot as well.. I had fun~
Slowly, we just started chatting and laughing away~ =) Felt like a close friend, and no.. They are not gigolo because they dont sell themselves, they just entertain you by keeping you accompany by drinking and chatting with you~
Well, to me, compared to the other male hosts i see so far, he is really thoughtful, knowing that it was my first time and trying to keep me accompany~ Oh! I forgot to mentioned.. He is a Thai BUT with UK Accent!! =)
I never had such a close skinship with a guy before! Except for my dad who used to carry me when i was little? =X
But to my surprise was i didn't feel uncomfortable ! Just felt shy and didn't know what to do! When i mentioned close skinship means, we sat REALLY close together! And of course we had to talk really close because it was really loud.
We had this lil conversation that i had a very deep impression on him
Him : I am drunk...
Me : No, you are not! Liar, you look fine!
Him : No.. I am not, how do u know that i am not drunk?
Me : Well, i can tell.. And you are not..
Him : No one can ever tell whether i am drunk or not.. Do you know why?
Me : Why?
Him : Because I am drunk on the inside..
Me : ohh... okay...
Us : Burst into laughter..
Well, i dont know about what you guys think, but all i know was, its exactly how i feel..
He asked if i can take alcohol well, i told him that it depends on my mood, if i am upset.. I can get drunk pretty easily because i wanna be drunk just to forget everything.. but if i am happy , i can drink like no tomorrow and all i did was vomit, after vomiting, i can continue to drink again!
While sitting and chill out, there were so much thoughts running through my mind, too much to list out.. But i can tell you, its unhappy ones.
Well, one thing for sure, i like this guy! Don't take it the wrong way ! Just simple liking ~ Just wanna be friends.. Get to know more~ =)
I know people have this impression of women going to male host clubs can make them look bad, but if you are in their shoes, then yall will understand~
For me, its that emptiness in my heart eats me up.. I like this club because it makes me feel like that you can enjoy that limited time of happiness without any troubles! Just that lil enjoyment satisfy me from all that suffering feelings from reality.. Be it work life or Love life.. Nothing went well in these, so just that short hours of clubbing made me happy!
I like that guy a lot and hoping to see him again~ =) Till now i am still blushing..
By the way, if you wanna know how he looks like, just find a guy with a hat on the above picture! haha! Till then !
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