This Is My Life & My Say!

REST IN PEACE CHERIE...24/9/2006 - 4/6/2015 

Cherie passed away on 4th June 2015 (Thursday).. 

Lots of people were really concerned about why so sudden when she looked so cheerful and healthy all the time.. 

So I shall blog her last journey that she been through with us.. 

As you can see, Cherie looked really healthy and she was such a sweet and tolerant dog, we didnt know she was sick till later stage of her illness..

We realized that she stopped eating for days, she had become really skinny.. That was about mid-may when all of this happened..

We thought she was really bored so we took Cherie and Cookie out for a walk one day..

She couldnt walk far at all, only after like 5 minutes of walk.. She just can't move at all, she wouldnt budge.. We didnt know what happened, so we just carried her and hoping that she will walk for awhile till we reached the nearest park..

That happened to be her shortest walk of all times and her last walk with us..

Next day I was really worried so I urged mum to bring her to the vet.. She said that we should observe first and see how it goes.. And I agreed.. Because seriously she seldom fall sick, so we thought we should observe her more..

We found out that she was panting away and couldnt eat at all.. So Mum decided to bring her to the vet 2 days later..

I was at work and mum updated me with what the vet has to say..

She was diagnosed with Congestive Heart Failure (CHF) and she had fluids in her lungs.. That explains why she find it difficult to eat and breathe..

The vet couldnt tell us how long she will live but gave us options to treat her..

We all agreed to bring her home and gave her home care and medications to drain out the fluids from her lungs, which was our main priority at that moment.. Because CHF is incurable..

When we heard the news, we were so worried and sad because she was not a sick dog at all.. She seldom visit the vet.. Like less than 5 times in her 8 years plus of living..

Anyways, we didnt give up on her, we tried our best to be there for her as much as possible and gave her our attention..

We cooked her favorite meals, forced her to eat her medications and when we went back for the second appointment with the vet.. (which was like 1 week later)

The vet said that she looked better and plus she was eating well and slept well.. So the vet said her conditions improved by a lot..

We thought she was getting better, esp the part where the fluids were drained out from her lungs.. So we just need to concentrate to give her medicines on time to control her CHF.

She even started to play with Cookie, chasing him around the house...

Little did we know, that will be her last happy moment in her life..

I noticed she was getting breathless again during 2nd June which was 2 days before she passed away.. But I realized she was eating and drinking.. So I thought she was just feeling a bit uncomfortable..

Then I just asked my mum to observe her more and see how it goes..

I know she didnt sleep well (or didnt sleep at all) on the 3rd June.. Because she asked me to let her our of the room when I was going to bed..

When I woke up, she was already awake.. Which was pretty unusual for my dogs, because both of them slept till late and only wakes up when the sun rises.. Its really unusual to see her in my room not sleeping at 6.30 am in the morning..

I patted her head and looked at her.. And I had this strong feeling.. maybe I shouldnt go to work today, i should stay at home and look after her..

But I still went ahead to do my daily morning routine.. When I was doing my makeup, she was standing near at my wardrobe door, which was so obvious that she was asking for attention.. She just stood there, was in my way but I didnt chase her away, I just let her be..

While I was doing my makeup.. I just looked at her and she didnt move at all..

Even before I went out of the room, I even looked at her longer.. Was feeling so uneasy.. And I didnt know, that will be the last time I looked at her..

Mum supposed to be working on that day in the morning but she skipped work and headed home because she had the same feelings as I did ( But without each other knowing)

She called me and told me that she will bring her to the vet which was my most nervous time of that day.. But when I didnt receive her call during the afternoon, I thought everything was fine..

Till she sent me a video of Cherie panting vigorously away..Even informed me that her tongue was slowly turning to purple color. From there, I just knew, she can't hold on any longer.. 

 After about 5 - 10 minutes later, my mum called and she was crying so badly, told me Cherie was vomiting blood.. What's worse was when I asked her what happened she hung up the call on me..

The second time I called back, she was crying away and blabbering about something which I couldnt understand at all.. And hung up my call again.. 

I just took an urgent leave and went straight home which my colleague was nice enough to send me home.. Before I left my work place, I got the final call from mum.. 

Cherie had passed on.. 

I was shocked.. But I dont have tears at all. Because I just couldnt cry in front of my colleagues.. So I just held it in.. Or maybe I just couldnt accept the fact that she just leave us that fast..

I dont know.. 

When I reached home.. I couldnt help and my tears started to flow automatically.. 

Seeing her lying there motionless.. I just couldnt express how I felt at that moment.. All I knew was I felt painful.. My heart aches so much.. 

Mum and Dad helped her to look as neat as possible.. 

Mum was crying for two days straight.. Non-stop. My Sister came back home shortly after I told her the news when I was on my way home.. 

We were all grieving.. Cherie was the first dog we had lost.. So we couldnt help but cry so much for the past few days.. 

Even when I am typing this post is making me cry.. 

We decided to keep her at home for a day before we cremate her the next day.

Her last shot before cremation. 

That was a long day when we sent her off.. We were all so tired and was mourning for her.. 

My grieve finally kicked in when we reached home.. I couldnt do anything at all.. I was crying so hard (which I tried to hide) , I was thinking bout her all day.. I was lying on the bed doing nothing.. 

But I was feeling better after all that crying.. 

Mum made a place for her.. I am so proud that I managed to catch that picture of her and mum was happy about it.. 

Cookie is still dealing with his grieve.. Till this day he will practically go to this spot everyday and whine.. He NEVER go to that spot before.. So we believe Cherie is really home with us.. 

Hopefully I can make more time out for Cookie.. Its such a pity that Cherie cant live till Cookie's 10th year old Birthday.. Which is 10th June. 

Till now we are still mourning for her.. I know time will heal, I know she will stay in our hearts forever.. 

I miss her so much, seeing her running around the house playing fetch with me, miss her scent, miss giving her belly rubs, miss disturbing her while she sleeps when she cant do anything about it.. lol.. I just miss her so much.. 

We love you Cherie, Thank you for being such a nice, understanding, sweet, kind girl and for these 8 years plus of love from you~ 

May you rest in peace and play to your heart content at the Rainbow bridge with other dogs.. =)